@donni: When I die, I'm donating my body to Simons. I tell this to every Simon I meet. So far, they're not into it
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@TheHyyyype: ME: *sighs* yep, story of my life EDITOR: please stop saying that every time you hand me a draft of your autobiography
@faizziy: Apparently "You should Google it" isn't the best response when she asks how much do you love me? Sigh, women are so demanding..
@Kyle_Lippert: If you look in your bathroom mirror & say "Donald Trump" 3 times, the hair in your shower drain rises up & starts yelling racist slurs.
@samalmightysam: - Hey babe, do you like how I did my makeup? - Yes and if you want I can go and kill Batman with you.