@bourgeoisalien: When I die, I'm donating my body to the theater department. Any jerk could donate their body to science. I can't wait to be a theater prop.
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@burgerdrome: Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss... but you won't miss. You've trained your whole life for this. Take the shot. Kill the moon.
@AbrasiveGhost: ME: What's this bit here? NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your résumé said you were a surgeon ME: My résumé says a lot of things
@SomeChrisTweets: Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them.
@Reverend_Scott: ME: You bring that cash you owe me? ELEPHANT: Oh, sorry man, I forgot. ME: No you didn't.