@bourgeoisalien: When I die, I'm donating my body to the theater department. The science department has enough bodies. I want to be a theater prop.
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@JRobb773: I hate when I come home from work exhausted and the haunted dolls moved all the furniture two inches to the left.
@KyleMcDowell86: [going thru airport security] "Please turn your laptop on" *I start to stroke it's audio input* "That's not what I-' Me: No no it likes this