@FormerGrunt: When I die, just toss my body out of an airplane flying over NYC while wearing a superman costume.
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@dafloydsta: [dropping kids off at school] ME: Ok, learn a lot today KIDS: But school doesn't start for another week ME: *speeding off* GOOD LUCK
@Jake_Vig: Survival Tip: If confronted by a dinosaur while hiking, politely but firmly explain that it is extinct.
@AdamUrbane: This hammock is the most relaxing thing I've ever had slingshot me point blank into the ground.