@FormerGrunt: When I die, just toss my body out of an airplane flying over NYC while wearing a superman costume.
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@JanineEB4: Lord give me coffee to change the things I can...and vodka to accept the things I cannot. Amen!
@Shock_Monster: It's been clinically proven that the most effective form of birth control I can use is: "Just be myself."
@JDBooie: Instead of a sock on your door, hang a doughnut. Not only is Doughnut Disturb hilarious, you provide a snack for your now homeless roommate.