@SamuelMoen: When I die, my only wish is for my corpse to be respectfully catapulted onto a whitewater raft of people going down the Colorado river
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@mexinonblonde: "Quit mowing your lawn you heathen and go to church!" -Me as I put in earplugs and go back to bed on a Sunday morning.
@DanDoofus: Twitter is over Capacity! Well, so's my liver but you don't see me slowing down because of it.
@GingerHotDish: "You made your bed now lay in it" doesn't really sound like a punishment to me. I love laying in a freshly made bed. And other 5am thoughts
@BadMikeyBad: The scariest sound is an unknown crash followed by my 9 year old yelling "It's OK! There's nothing wrong! You don't need to come up here"