@garrydavenport: When I die, please scatter my ashes over my iPhone, computer and TV, because I want to be left to my own devices.
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@RobDenBleyker: Is there an app that makes the flatline noise? Bet I could freak out some nurses.
@Pro_Jones_: (Art Museum) Me:*sees nature painting* *pulls out sharpie* *draws sun in the top left corner* My 5th Grade Art Teacher: *thumbs up* nice
@WildeThingy: I'm white and my wife is black. I'm trying to convince her we should adopt a Chinese baby so we can tell people that's how they are made
@Fred_Delicious: "so doc... am I dying?" "we're all dying, just at different speeds" "but what about me" "You're like, the Usain Bolt of dying dude lmao"