@see_more13: When I explained Twitter to my mother she said, "Sounds like group therapy where no one's getting better." Well played, Mom. Well played.
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@Brianhopecomedy: Well this is awkward. Apparently when my wife's friend invited me over for a play-date I was supposed to bring my kids.
@Mr_Kapowski: - Are you excited sir? - Yes! I'm gonna feed whales & pet dolphins! - Sir, this flight is going to Finland - That's like Seaworld, right?
@elle91: "I'm going to make a great mother one day" I whisper to myself as I catch my burrito mid-fall and only a single bean spills out
@MummaCrazy: I'm just gonna go ahead and change my boys names to "Stop making that stupid noise" and "Where are your shoes?".