@GensPlace: When I first went on the pill, I put on a bit of weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
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@SondraDeeMe: [party] ME: I'm uncomfortable BF: Just mingle ME: Do I introduce myself? BF: We're at your family reunion
@adamhess1: So if Humpty Dumpty is an egg, what species is the thing inside him? Another egg? "No I mean do you have any questions about the job?"
@Parkerlawyer: So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
@Rlpihl: [raises hand in math class] HOW DO PEOPLE WHO WORK AT THE SPAM CORPORATION KNOW WHEN THEY'RE GETTING UNSOLICITED EMAIL?