@hippieswordfish: when i found out i won the World's Saddest Man award i became slightly happy and was immediately stripped of my title
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TitansHomer: My wife started clipping coupons to help me save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.
@martinMmorrow: Am *I* rich? Ha. Well let's just say I told my Uber driver she could order something from Taco Bell too if she wanted.
@sammyrhodes: Sometimes you feel like you've grown. Other times you pout for a few hours because your wife accidentally threw away your Tabasco sauce.
@benrector: Me: hey, I'm looking for an email. iPhone mail: this one from 2012, unrelated to your search? Me: no it was last week iPhone: can't find it.