@hippieswordfish: when i found out i won the World's Saddest Man award i became slightly happy and was immediately stripped of my title
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@remmarg_yelsel: With Instagram's new video function, we will now be able to hear the quacks from all the duck faces.
@kirstiealley: I thought I found a baby owl today that needed help. He was an adult pigmy owl who let me pick him up then clawed and bit me. He is free now
@SSDated: If Kevin Bacon never said "want some bacon with your eggs" to a lonely chick in a bar, life just doesn't make sense anymore.
@briangaar: See those guys? They apply ordinary grammatical structure and natural flow of speech, rather than rhythmic structure. They're real prose.