@WheelTod: When I get depressed about an underperforming tweet, I think about starving kids in Africa & how lucky they are to never experience my pain.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shutupmikeginn: Someone should make a food app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurants you can afford, could call it Welp
@joshbupkes: when you're a kid you're like "how do actors cry so easily?" and when you grow up you're like "how is anyone ever not crying?"
@smells_fine: [God creating the raccoon] God: make it cute with a lil mask Angel: haha aw okay God: also make it eat trash
@Kimpulses: I've been reading your Oscar tweets, and America should not vote on things as a general rule going forward.