@sarah1mc: When I get murdered the neighbors will be on the news like, "Wow, I can't believe it took so long."
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@MythicPicnic: Home alone tonight The fridge is making weird noises I think the beer wants out....
@Miniwheats2012: My son can go from "omg...you're impossible I can't wait until I'm 18!" To "you're the best mom ever" in a matter of $100
@MartaEffing: Just saw a five year old in a track suit & a gold chain. His nana didn't think it was funny when I asked him if he could hook up some blow.
@donni: It's hard to stay mad at Kanye when you remember he once threatened to move to Oklahoma and live at his aunt's house