@kelkulus: When I get to somebody's house, I text them, because knocking on doors is for poor people.
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@DraggingFeeties: All I want is for my kids to have a good sense of humor. They don't have to be funny, just need to be able to recognize how hilarious I am.
@dance_blessed: Dear car commercials, You probably don't mean to scare me but "German engineering" is also why I don't have so many cousins today.