@osigat: When I go out in public with my brother; people think he is my boyfriend, which is crazy because we broke up over 12 years ago.
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@GlennyRodge: Whenever I left a door open, my mum would ask if I was born in a barn, which is odd because you'd think she'd remember something like that.
@mess_of_petals: [My relationship with TV] There's nothing on. *watches nothing for the next six hours.
@murrman5: [helping son prepare for first date] "what if she doesn't like it" *stuffing handkerchiefs up son's sleeve* be confident in your magic, son
@Parkerlawyer: Hubs, "What are we doing tonight?" Me, "As long as I'm with you I'm happy." ~Watches him watch ESPN on his phone~ Me, "I want a divorce."