@ScreaminZeman: When I go out to eat I wear a shirt w/ a picture of me shirtless on it, because I hate rules but I like service.
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@truegritrumble: FRIEND: Try to relate to her. (Later on Date) ME: *nervously* Can I be your cousin?
@kelkulus: My office got a shredder, so now I have to buy a turtle costume to fight it on Monday. Work is hard.
@Contwixt: I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
@ericsshadow: My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted.