@T_Bonezzz_: When I go shopping I like to buy condoms and cat food at the same time just to confuse the cashier.
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@SemFitty: Accidentally put Red Bull in my coffee maker this morning. I was going 130 mph down the interstate when I realized that I forgot my car.
@UnFitz: Some cultures fear that when someone takes your photograph they steal your soul. You should be fine, though.
@Daniel_Sloss: If anyone says YOLO to me I say YOLBYPCFAC (You Only Live Because Your Parents Couldn't Find A Condom). I hope it catches on...
@iwearaonesie: the dog ran into a fence chasing a squirrel. she doesn't look anything like me but she's mine. i can tell