@TheHoyBoy_: When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors
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@Kendragarden: I said "Margarita" 3 times in the mirror instead of "Bloody Mary" and now a ghost mariachi band is forcing me to play maracas for them.
@ch000ch: if i ever go missing please don't use that photo of me holding a sign that says "if i ever go missing don't look for me." thanks
@_NinJar: *cop frisking me* Cop: "theres nothin in your pockets that will poke me, right?" Uh, no Cop: "OW!" *baby porcupine jumps out* RUN POKEY, RUN