@TheHoyBoy_: When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors
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@DanOverHere: -Boss: "Send me one of your funny tweets" -Me: "I'm working at the moment, I'll send you one later" -Boss: "Hahaha! Send me another one."
@ChicorelliStar: Just found out my daughter's super power is repeating what I've said about others as soon as she meets them.
@vikkaroni: Just once I'd like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do... Without being dragged out being told, "Ma'am, you're not the bride..."