@samuelhlowe: When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.
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@Shot_Of_Cabo: (CPR class) Wife to instructor: What if my knees start to hurt? Me to instructor: See what I'm up against?
@androszr: If you could choose between having a girlfriend and owning the new playstation what would be your first game?
@sageboggs: My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :(