@AntF3ltz: When I go to Starbucks, I tell them my name is Marco. When my drink is ready and they call my name, I just keep saying Polo.
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@QwertyJones3: "WHAT?? You ate the last of the cantaloupe?? This is the worst day ever!" Can you please stop being so melondramatic.
@HMittelmark: Men want to be him. Women want to be with him. Bears want to eat him. Botflies want to lay their eggs in his skin. Fish are unaware of him.
@ItsAndyRyan: HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TOO MUCH TO RUIN IT WITH SEX. SURE, YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE, THEY JUST DON'T SEE YOU IN THAT WAY
@jenniferfralic: Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today