@samthe8th: When I go to the movies alone, I take a clipboard so everyone thinks I'm a professional movie reviewer and not an awkward friendless loner.
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@robdelaney: The name Corey is short for Coriander. Coreys will try & tell you it's not but they are lying.
@AimeeHelene1: Oh good, a gift card to Arby's. *waits for their birthday* Them: Thanks Aimee for the... *opens box* (cat hair pasted to paper & framed)
@KeithSantagato: #WhyDoPeopleThinkItsOkayTo replace letters in words with numbers....well now i don't feel like reading the math equation you just sent me
@desi_princess: Can any of you read your Chinese food bill? Looks like they charged me for a chicken lo-mein, a python, Africa, and a diet Coke.