@nachosarah: when I have dinner with a vegetarian I order two steaks to use as a bun for my third steak
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@man_spach: *tries several times to connect to the internet using a dial-up modem* *reaches #1 on the dubstep charts*
@iamspacegirl: her: tell me about yourself me: ok so u know when a dog runs too fast on tile and crashes into a wall but then looks at u like its ur fault
@moooooog35: The 7-yr old has the flu so I'm letting her lick the envelopes of all my credit card bills.
@JakeNicholas: There's a man at the mall wearing cargo pants and a fanny pack, who I believe is in the process of becoming a suitcase.