@nachosarah: when I have dinner with a vegetarian I order two steaks to use as a bun for my third steak
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@stockejock: You look so perfect standing there, In my American Apparel underwear, But I know now you probably opened the wrong Christmas present grandma
@KenJennings: If you're a vegan who ran a marathon & got your dogs from a shelter, how do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?
@Brianhopecomedy: How my 7 year old plays board games: Rolls a 6. Counts to 6. Moves his piece wherever he wants.