@pinapl: When I have more than $20 in my account at the end of the month I have to wonder what bill I forgot to pay.
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@KissabiX: I visited you every day in hospital when you were in a coma. They gave me free wifi & coffee, It was the best 2 months of our married life
@XplodingUnicorn: Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity.
@Cheeseboy22: A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort; it is equal to one night. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers.
@HomeProbably: After 10 missed calls in a row, I'm tempted to answer the phone just so I can find out who wants to be murdered.