@IamEnidColeslaw: when I kiss a guy who has a mustache I'll close my eyes and pretend he's either Mario or Luigi, depending on his height
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@DirtMcTurd: "You get a Bible! You get a Bible! You get a Bible! You all get Biibbbllleess!!!! ~Poprah
@karentozzi: Ten Ways To Tell If Your Kitchen Is Haunted: 1.) Flying forks 2.) Pre-fried eggs 3.) Fridge moaning/wailing 4-10.) Ghosts
@anerdonfire2: The good news: She actually gave me her number The bad news: She asked for it back after I fell and tripped into a plant walking away
@jlock17: Remember when all bombs looked like a black bowling ball with a giant wick in the top? Yep, simpler times.