@shadygeekdad: When I know I've posted a great tweet, I walk away from my phone in slow motion like I'm Jason Statham walking from an explosion.
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@KyleMcDowell86: *rolls up on dance battle* Sick moves bruh. You know who else had sick moves? Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ *hands out pamphlets*
@causticbob: Me: If we weren't related, I'd totally sleep with you. Hot girl: But we aren't related. Me: Oh good, so you feel the same way too
@awordforaword: "Are you listening to understand or to be right?" ~ sometimes pretending to listen results in unexpected mutiple choice questions