@shadygeekdad: When I know I've posted a great tweet, I walk away from my phone in slow motion like I'm Jason Statham walking from an explosion.
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@hardlyrelevant: "Oh, Monster TRUCK rally. Haha of course..." *Frankenstein slowly backs out of the room, hiding a 24 pack of condoms behind his back*
@RawspberryJamb: "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it's yours" - Inventors of boomerangs
@UncleDuke1969: Will is weary of fame Will runs away to the woods Will dons a loincloth Will eats bugs & berries Will befriends a bear Will Ferrell
@AimeeHelene1: I own a lot of cleaning supplies for someone whose friends inscribed "dust me" on my coffee table recently.