@DulciePlaid: When I left for work this morning, the dog begged me to stay and the cat handed me my keys.
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@HollyHeals: Ever have the shower curtain touch you unexpectedly and start karate chopping the air?? No, me either.
@ThisOneSayz: *opens door* Stop screaming! *opens door* What broke?! *opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! ~parenting from the bathroom
@Sickayduh: [First date] "Ok. Don't let her know you're just 40 squirrels in human clothes" "You said that out loud"