@DulciePlaid: When I left for work this morning, the dog begged me to stay and the cat handed me my keys.
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@Thedudish: Men at the supermarket are like fish in an aquarium. Silent, with no recollection of how or why they got there.
@joelycett: Flight attendant said I should exercise my legs then all of a sudden I'm 'causing a scene' and 'I didn't mean kickboxing.'
@reczit: Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM.
@KalvinMacleod: WORM: Why do caterpillars think they are better than us? OTHER WORM: *is drowning in a very shallow puddle*