@smedlee: When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone.
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@nishadtrivedi: If you feel trapped in your body with no way out, just think about that guy in the middle of a conga line.
@TheTweetOfGod: When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps.
@tyleroakley: The 11th commandment was, "Talk shit, get hit" but God totally didn't have enough room on those stone things, so, like, yeah.