@smedlee: When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GrowlyGrego: [at bar] "Yeah I pulled down a solid 6 figs last year." Whoa that's impressive! "I know, right! Can't believe I got fired by that fig farm."
@MollySneed: "I'm glad you're so normal. It's refreshing." "That's me- totally normal!" *waves off mariachi band waiting in the wings*
@DirtMcTurd: Just reported a car stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the window were white
@david8hughes: [hears baby crying in the next room] "It's ok, I'll go." [gets in car & goes to a motel]