@gaynorlsimpson: When I met you I was completely blown away because the wind was ridiculous.
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@itrevormoore: I hate when ppl at the grocery store get mad at you for "stealing" their cart of food. YOU DON'T OWN THIS STUFF YET!!!!!!
@DirtMcTurd: when someone pisses you off start counting down from 10. When you get to 8 punch them in the throat, they will never expect it.
@ilovepie84: When I smell weed coming from my neighbors house I call him pretending I'm the Mexican Cartel, and accuse him of stealing my drugs.
@famouscrab: you gotta turn your phone off when you fly in case an old plane text you and your new plane get jealous