@KrazykurtKurt: When I practice my saxophone I have to put the cat in the window, so my neighbours know I'm not kicking it around the living room.
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@UncleDuke1969: Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.
@hazelmotes1: On the Titanic 0 people died from alcohol poisoning and 1,500 people died from drinking too much water. You decide which is more dangerous.
@animaldrumss: Guy [beating me up for making a joke at an inappropriate time]: whos funny now you piece of shit Me: wait, you thought i was funny before?