@LoriLuvsShoes: When I punish my 16 I don't take away her phone I take away her charger and then I watch the fear in her eyes as her battery dies. It's fun
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@koala_hugs: a gymnast walks into a bar. she is immediately given a 0.0 and disqualified from Olympic trials. you're supposed to jump OVER the bar, idiot
@SumbodyShootMe: My daughter said she was in a memoir. I was intrigued until I realized what she said was meme war. Whatever tickles your fancy, Love.
@Brampersandon_: ME (drunkenly picking a fight with a cake): get out my face you jerk CAKE: hey pal you wanna piece of me?!? ME: ok wow now I'm conflicted