@kyle_thatisall: When I punish my future kids I wont just take their phone I'm gonna be them on social media & just comment "nice" on everyones old pool pics
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@slyoung5: You're suppose to wear clean underwear in case you're ever in an accident. I wear a new pair of shoes every day in case a house lands on me.
@ericsshadow: ME: these gummy bears are delicious WIFE: those are daily vitamins ME: *holding the couch over my head with one arm* I can't find the remote
@Parkerlawyer: *buys almond milk* "I'm gonna get healthy!" *drinks almond milk* "This is gross." *pours Hershey's chocolate syrup in milk* "Perfect."