@TheMongoose69: When I push a door that clearly says pull, it serves as a harsh reminder that I'd make a terrible midwife.
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@poe927: Her: You should drink in moderation Me: Moderation?You makin words up? H: You're gonna piss on my lawn again aren't you? M: ...In moderation
@Mr_Kapowski: *runs into dental hygienist in store* Me: How are you? Her: *starts to respond but I shove my fingers in her mouth* Me: Not so easy huh