@TheMongoose69: When I push a door that clearly says pull, it serves as a harsh reminder that I'd make a terrible midwife.
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@ktmcburr: "Omg there's a picture of him blowing smoke out of his mouth. I must bang him this instant"- no one, ever.
@SpacemanQuisp: Trouble brewing at Symphony Hall. It's the bottom of Beethoven's 9th, and the bassists are loaded.
@Fred_Delicious: Fun fact: Snakes don't exist. They were made up by scientists in 1923 as a joke that went too far so they just kinda rolled with it