@Lisa_Laughs_: When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
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@seamussaid: if your religion infringes on people's rights; sorry, you've had hundreds of years to change everyone's mind- obviously that hasn't happened
@stephenjmolloy: [Date] Karen: "You okay?" Ian: "I'm undressing you in my mind" K: "Okay... you look confused!" I: "I've never seen a bra strap like this"
@comer310: Me: Who will I share the sunset with now?! *sobs* Friend: Bad breakup? Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.