@Lisa_Laughs_: When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
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@JessicaVarsity: Twitter is like a dog: There's always someone who loves you for you... there's also always someone who just peed in an inappropriate place.
@vikkaroni: Pro tip: Instead of having kids, just adopt a couple raccoons. They'll trash your house too, but at least they can feed themselves.
@jlock17: Remember when all bombs looked like a black bowling ball with a giant wick in the top? Yep, simpler times.
@Adar79Angie: The security camera at work has "too many instances" of me acting like a dinosaur on film. And "any amount" is "too many." According to HR.