@krissywillbretz: When I said "I'm really good in bed" I was referring to sleeping. Sorry for the misunderstanding, you can pull your pants up now.
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@NicestHippo: "Great speech! Have you thought about giving it from behind a wooden box for some reason?" - podium salesman
@captainkalvis: [my dog runs up to me, bone in his mouth] you better stop bringing these back, we’ve got like 200 more to dispose of