@krissywillbretz: When I said "I'm really good in bed" I was referring to sleeping. Sorry for the misunderstanding, you can pull your pants up now.
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@shutupmikeginn: Can't wait for the first bad thing to happen in 2017 so I can post "what is this, 2016?" Ha! Today an on duty seeing eye dog growled at me.
@_correctomundo: Nephew: What's love? Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!