@RobbyRob313: When I said that you'd always have a place to stay in rough times, I meant like a motel or a shelter. Anyway ... You can't stay here.
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@LindaInDisguise: Me: Did you know a cockroach can live for weeks with no head? Him: That's nothing. Husbands sometimes go for years.
@DomBorrett: Grandma: 'And that's how me and your grandfather chose the colour of toaster in our first home' Me: 'So you haven't seen my scarf?'