@curlycomedy: When I say, "No problem," I mean, "YOU REMEMBER THIS FAVOR FOREVER."
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@evidentlyblonde: Open an ice cream shop with flavors like "don't be sad," "they're not worth it," "you deserve better" and see if people don't flock right in
@Moemontes: To the dude i just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
@AskAuntieEm1: Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
@novicefather: [1st ppl to go camping] wife: what do u wanna do this week? hubs: luxury cruise? w: no h: nice hotel? w: no h: pretend to be homeless w: YES