@SonOfCha: When I see a dog tied up outside a store I immediately assume it's been there for years & set it free.
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@dxblarssonENG: Top three reasons he doesn't text you back: 1. He's just not that into you 2. He's imaginary 3. He's a cat
@Rollinintheseat: [blind date] Him: "I'm a big Beethoven fan." ME *trying to impress him* "Saint Bernards are my favorite dog breed."