@botandy: when I see a Facebook relationship status 'it's complicated' I imagine love through wormholes over tens of thousands of years, alien biology
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@PlatinumShower: Every time the wife pisses me off, I hollow out her tampons and pack them with strawberry Pop Rocks.
@LackOfShame: I'm no blood spatter expert, but by the look of this bathroom floor, you're pulling your tampons out way too fast.
@Oshungurl: You agree to sound convincing when you lie about changing and I agree to believe you. Formalities over, let's get this relationship started.