@roggyie: When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I just wanna to use my finger & write `"WASH ME"` on her face.
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@Nocturnesthesia: Went for a handshake and got snubbed. So I turned it into an impromptu Macarena dance, since I didn't wanna look stupid
@TheTweetOfGod: Jesus was white and spoke English and enjoyed baseball and apple pie and was a churchgoing Christian.
@SuperTeeWhy: Ouija board just told me it's still waiting on a grandbaby and I was like lol Mom when did you die