@jessokfine: When I see a guy with a tooth pick in his mouth I'm like, wow. look at that guy. he ate most of a tree.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@prufrockluvsong: I go to seductively boop your nose but my finger pierces straight through the back of your skull. "Sorry, I've been working out." I say.
@Real_Countress: I'd rather everyone think I had a serious cocaine problem then them know I just finished a bag of powdered donuts to myself
@mrdaveturner: There's a woman reading the bible on the tube. Fighting the urge to lean over to her and say "He dies at the end".