@FuttyNudgekins: When I see a self-help book at a secondhand store, I wonder...does that mean it worked, or it is bullshit?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Are you still tweeting about me being in labor? Me: Now I’m live tweeting “The Walking Dead.” Wife: Me: Everything isn’t about you.
@E_lok44: I just found a Cheerio in my sofa and we don't have any Cheerios in this house. *eats it
@ceejoyner: Sir, the breadsticks are limitless, not unlimited. You only get one but its potential as a breadstick knows no bounds.