@ka_unplugged: When I see an ugly guy buying condoms, I restore my faith in myself by thinking that he bought them only because balloons weren't available
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@RexHuppke: The emailer who threatened LA schools claims to be "a Muslim extremist." That's like a student signing his report card "Timmy's Dad."
@thenatewolf: Hot lady mouse looking for good time. Any mouse will do boy mouse or girl mouse. Groups preferred. Meet in woods AT NIGHT. Will be a hoot.
@bea_ker: [date slides her top down her shoulder to show me a scar] I got this surfing [I show her my grotesque balls] I was born like this I think