@Douchekevin: When I see babies who breastfeed crying I know it's because they don't have Oreos to go with the milk.
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@Freudianscript: People who try to test my patience don't realize it's an exam I don't plan on passing.
@breakfastbeerz: Who called them "homo erectus'" and not... Wait, that's actually pretty funny. Good job guy who named them "homo erectus'"
@JessicaVarsity: Felony Insurance, like car insurance but for when you hate someone so much you just have to throw a cinder block through their windshield.
@GeorgeScumbag: Remember ladies. It goes from Twitter to Kik to Voxer to cell phone number to address to being dismembered in a motel bathtub.