@Blondrbomber: When I see crying children and miserable parents- I run to the bathroom, crush up my birth control, and snort it.
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@MinionTrainer: Noticed lots of older people reading the bible. It's like they are cramming for their final exam.
@lazerdoov: *wakes up in a cold sweat* Ohhhh OVERALLS because you wear them over all your other clothes
@DanMentos: *guy struggling to pick his teeth with a toothpick* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way? -commercial for business cards
@blondediva11: My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish.