@Blondrbomber: When I see crying children and miserable parents- I run to the bathroom, crush up my birth control, and snort it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JennyJohnsonHi5: All the people upset over same sex marriage didn't seem to mind when Paula Abdul was openly dating a cartoon cat in the late 80s.
@BigPlanetEarth: People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them.
@MrGeorgeWallace: I run a gambling ring where we throw humidifiers and dehumidifiers into a pit and let 'em fight that shit out.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Check it out! I'm juggling! Wife: Me: Wife: You're supposed to use more than one ball. Me: Can't you just be happy for me?