@Blondrbomber: When I see crying children and miserable parents- I run to the bathroom, crush up my birth control, and snort it.
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@juliussharpe: A guy just came into this restaurant by himself, ordered a plate of olives, ate them, and left. If you see something, say something.
@david8hughes: [meeting at round table] "King Arthur, if I may?" "Go ahead." "Castles but bouncier." "Bouncy castles?" "But you gotta take your shoes off."
@Jade_VK: I only carry cash anymore in case I need to make a dramatic exit in the middle of coffee with a detective