@mattsurely: When I see JUST MARRIED I like to think it means 'only married' like there are higher types of commitment but they just settled for marriage
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@Adar79Angie: Dude, I'd love to go out with you, but this one person 80s dance party in my living room isn't going to host itself.
@thepunningman: [murder scene] detective: "she drown?" cop: "after a blow to the head" d: "what's he doing?" me: [trying to draw chalk outline on river]