@ImLeslieChow: When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just find it strange how many people have knives on a date.
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@SadPeruna: Honestly Officer, I do have a few ideas as to why I'd get pulled over, but I'm kind of afraid to tell you. Let's both say it on 1-2-3, ok?
@Fred_Delicious: [everyone in the STI clinic glaring at my Pokemon shirt] "No no it means like, I want to catch all the Pokemon"
@bourgeoisalien: My cat just wrote the Great American Novel. Let me read you a page, "Meow meow meow meow meow meow." Dunno, think it's a little pretentious.
@TheToddWilliams: [grocery produce aisle] ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?