@JasonLight73: When I see someone in public talking on a bluetooth..I like to position myself on the other side, lean in & whisper "It's ok I see them too"
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@bridger_w: Guy in the dressing room next to mine: "I don't want to get blood on these pants." I want to reply, "Then stay out of my way on the catwalk"
@weinerdog4life: Welcome to Bed Bath & Beyond, here's your gun, shoot anything that comes out of the Beyond
@UnFitz: [speed dating] Me: Periods. Her: Huh? Me: Do they go inside the quotation mark or outside? Her: In the US or the UK? Me: Let's get married.