@imteddybless: when i tell guys i want a baby i just assume they kno i don't mean a human one. i want a baby antelope, a baby hedgehog, a baby lizard
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@skullmandible: ENGLAND: people are CROSSING OUR BORDERS for ECONOMIC ADVANCEMENT!!! THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED WORLD FROM LIKE 1583 to 1997: u don't say
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Thanks for the Christmas card featuring the ultrasound photo. Here's one of my family gathered around an MRI of my knee.
@SomthinBoutSara: Just watched a guy in a shirt that read "Jedi I am" trip on a curb and fall. Jedi you are not sir
@Burger_Time_: [as one million ants are carrying me out of my bed to toward their cavern to eat me alive] please let me feed my neopets first