@weinerdog4life: When I tell my wife I'm gonna have to work late she knows it's code for I was playing with super glue and I'm stuck to my desk again.
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@oakhillbargrill: Instead of a tweet up, I think all the twitter crushes should get together for a weekend in the mountains You know... A Couples Retweet
@concretesledge_: The tag on this hot tub reads "6 man" when I clearly ordered a 1 man 5 woman hot tub. This one is going back!
@BooFricketyHoo: Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast.
@SteveInevitable: If I'm in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet