@TedBundybitch: When I tell people I don't speak English to get out of a conversation I randomly throw the word hemorrhoid just to bring it home
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@JermHimselfish: I just tripped and stumbled into a group of asian kids on the street and accidentally won a breakdancing competition.
@brothasoul: Mitt Romney: "I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman, and a woman, and a woman..."
@BrassBallsCJ: Someone want to tell my kids that the color of the bowl has NO EFFECT ON THE FLAVOR OF THE FOOD!!