@topaz_kell: When I treat people the way I want to be treated, they get weirded out when I start brushing their hair.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@notfaizzy: My right eye has been twitching for over a week! Know what that means, someone's been thinking of me so much they're giving me a stroke!
@oxygenplug: if you ever wanna impress a girl just bring a baby on your date and then basically just outperform the baby at everything it's really easy
@QwertyJones3: [phone rings] "Hello?" Hi, is your refrigerator running? "WTF?" ...well Hillary is! Hi, I'd like to talk to you about the Clinton campaign.
@RaynaTheGreat: All of your inspirational tweets make me want to track you down and pee on something you love.