@weinerdog4life: When I turn on the lights all of the dads scatter off of my deck, the fat dads can't get over the fence
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SCBamaMan: I'll be signing books at the library tomorrow from 2-4pm (or until that librarian calls the cops again). Come on out!
@AmishPornStar1: I'm not saying she's worse than my mom... But my wife doesn't seem to like any of my girlfriends.
@iGreenMonk: I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out