@weinerdog4life: When I turn on the lights all of the dads scatter off of my deck, the fat dads can't get over the fence
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@VictorscarletJ: 70 yr old boss: i have the body of a fit 30 yr old. Me: where? Buried in your rose garden?
@BitterOldPunk: ATTENTION ALABAMA RESIDENTS: tonight's penumbral lunar eclipse is perfectly natural. The moon is undamaged. Gay people are not stealing it.
@Marcmywords2: Hey dad, the hospital called, patients are trying to rest, could you please turn down your television.
@brichie13: "Donatello choose ur weapon" "I'll take a stick" "Really not a sword? Nunchu.." "A STICK" "Ha I guess u wanna wear purple too?" "..." "Ugh"